A Good Marriage

This may seem strange but I gained surprising insight about marriage from an address President Gerald Ford gave before a Joint Session of Congress in 1974. Upon ascending to the Presidency after President Nixon’s resignation, President Ford spoke these words:

 

“With due respect to the learned Justices—and I greatly respect the judiciary- part of my heart will always be here on Capitol Hill.  I know well the coequal role of the Congress in our Constitutional process.  I love the House of Representatives.  I revere the traditions of the Senate despite my too-short internship in that great body.  As President, within the limits of basic principles, my motto toward the Congress is communication, conciliation, compromise and cooperation.

This Congress, unless it has changed, I am confident, will be my working partner as well as my constructive critic.  I am not asking for conformity, I am dedicated to the two-party system, and you know which party I belong to.

I do not want a honeymoon with you.  I want a good marriage.”

 

In his speech, President Ford essentially enumerated the building blocks of a good marriage. 

1.      Coequal partners in the sight of God are joined together for the purpose of building a lasting union and to symbolize the relationship of Christ and His church to the world.  Marriage is a work in progress.  This partnership does have a God ordained head which is the husband.  He leads the team as the President leads the nation. (Ephesians 5:23).

2.      Communication, whether it be verbal or physical promotes intimacy, understanding, direction and care for one another.

3.      Conciliation is not conformity or agreeing on all the issues but it means to willfully decide to concede on some of your wants for the good of the relationship. Begin with the lesser priority moving to the greater.

4.      Compromise might be one person doing the work of the marriage 90% of the time for several months then the other takes the load the rest of the year or changing from day to day  with no one keeping a record.  There is no such thing as 50:50 in marriage.

5.      Cooperation requires marriage partners to work together and not against one another for the common good of the marriage.  God gave Adam a job first then brought his wife to him as a helpmate.  Wives work in conjunction with their husband as he follows God’s direction .  Whom you choose to marry determines where you end up going.

6.      Confidence is integral to a man’s wellbeing.  A husband needs to be confident that his wife is in his corner.  He desires and thrives on your respect which God commands wives to give.  Ephesians 5:33b

7.      Constructive critics pray for guidance to know what needs to be said, when it needs to be said and how it needs to be said.  And never say it in public!

To build a good marriage, all seven building blocks are required with Jesus Christ as the Chief Cornerstone.  Anything less and you end up with a honeymoon that may thrill you for a moment but craters quickly.  Like President Ford, aim to build a good marriage that lasts for a lifetime.