Another Form of Child Abuse

 

Last weekend, I sat next to this young father at a family wedding.  It was relatively easy to pick out which toddlers belonged to him.  They sat quietly next to their grandmother.  They did not run back and forth between their parents and grandparents.  They were happy, disciplined children.  Dad did not need to use the short, well-worn belt but he would have if the circumstances warranted a course correction.

Los Angeles psychiatrist, Robin Berman, M. D. raises the premise in her book, Permission to Parent:  How to Raise Your Child with Love and Limits, “If children don’t hear “no” at home, imagine how it will feel when they hear it in the workplace.  Protective parenting has created children who feel entitled and who are psychologically fragile because they have too much power and lack resilience because they never experienced failure.”  She argues “giving in to children’s every demand creates an unrealistic world in which to mature, much less succeed.”  Lack of discipline can undermine a child’s ability to become all God created them to be.

 

Proverbs 13:24

²⁴ He who spares his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

 

To withhold discipline is tantamount to child abuse.  A child’s life can be cut short because of foolishness not dealt with at an earlier age.  Failure to teach children to wait can lead to a young adult’s inability to defer gratification and do what they need to do now so that they can do what they want to do later and a result millennials are not launching out preferring to remain ensconced in the family nest.  An undisciplined child ultimately brings shame and dishonor to their family which in hindsight could have been prevented by a parent saying no and meaning it.  Dr. Berman states, “As a parent you have to be comfortable being uncomfortable if you’re parenting right.”  Dishing out discipline hurts you and your child.  But to not do it is to hate your child.  And frankly, that is another form of child abuse.